New LOW!!!
14 years ago
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Walking It Off...
the depression, the frustration, the bad attitude and hopefully the weight! Been doing 3 miles a day....must keep moving! ;-)
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Attitude is everything
well sometimes.......right now I'm trying really hard to keep mine positive and to have hope in my future ~ I've exercised 3 days in a row and that has helped too. I think I can do this...I think I can ~ I think I can ~ I think I can! ;-P
Monday, July 11, 2011
The Doctor Was Right!!
Dr Minkin said I could, said I should, and I finally did!! 3 miles in 43:53 time ~ he said 3 miles in 45 mins but he also said more than once here and there bawhaha so I have to work on that AGAIN and get my butt moving on a REGULAR basis!
Exercise helps me clear my head, check my attitude, and makes me feel better overall.
I got myself into this mess in life and I have to get myself out. Working on me and my attitude is a good step, finding a job is a good step, stop worrying about a huge dead dream is a good step, pressing on towards the prize is a good step and the ultimate prize has nothing to do on this earth anyways....
Exercise helps me clear my head, check my attitude, and makes me feel better overall.
I got myself into this mess in life and I have to get myself out. Working on me and my attitude is a good step, finding a job is a good step, stop worrying about a huge dead dream is a good step, pressing on towards the prize is a good step and the ultimate prize has nothing to do on this earth anyways....
Saturday, July 9, 2011
It Just Plain Hurts....
Just when I get my big gurl panties on and start to come around with a glimmer of hope something slaps me in the face again and the hurt stings me, my heart breaks, and the tears come....so here is my "it hurts me" list ~ like it or not here it comes and if you my reader don't want to know what hurts me then stop reading now. ;-P
It hurts me that hubby and I failed in our own office/business adventure.
It hurts me that we weren't on the same page.
It hurts me we had to move from the beautiful mountains.
It hurts me to live in a place I've never even heard of before.
It hurts me when he talks to his new CA or talks about her to me cuz I was suppose to be his CA.
It hurts me to have no friends here.
It hurts me to be so spiritually dry.
It hurts me when he talks about his patients cuz they were suppose to be our patients.
It hurts me when I think about what I thought a perfect day would be like.
It hurts me when he talks about the office cuz we were suppose to have our own office.
It hurts me to have no job.
It hurts me to feel unwanted.
It hurts me to see the bills we owe.
It hurts me to think we may never recover financially.
It hurts me to be a failure.
It hurts me to feel so lonely.
It hurts me that I don't see my boys.
It hurts me to feel not needed.
It hurts me to be going through peri menopause.
It hurts me to not be doing better with my weight loss.
It hurts me to see the scale move up not down.
It hurts me to feel so numb.
It hurts me to wake up in the morning sometimes.
It hurts me hindsight is 20/20.
It hurts me to keep applying for jobs, I shouldn't be looking for one @ my age.
It hurts me to not know my feelings.
It hurts me to feel dead inside because the life has been sucked out of me.
It hurts me to feel like a drama queen.
It hurts me that I cry so often ~ sometimes over nothing. And when I say nothing I mean nothing.
It hurts me that I threw a hissy fit on Tuesday and threw everything off the top of my desk but the computer and printer and it felt good.
It hurts me that I can't sleep well worrying about finances.
It hurts me that I am where I am in life.
It hurts me to feel sad most of the time.
It hurts me to think I feel happy after a few big gurl drinks.
It hurts me that life hurts me right now.
I think that pretty much covers it ~ that's my list for today and if I repeated myself @ all then it must be a double hurt kind of thing. I know big pity party for me right? My life sucks and so do the lives of many others right now so cry me a river right? Others have it worse, others have bad health, others have bad finances, others have already lost everything they owned, I'm just being poor little Julie but it hurts me that this is real for me, I'd like to wake up from the nightmare anytime.
It hurts me that hubby and I failed in our own office/business adventure.
It hurts me that we weren't on the same page.
It hurts me we had to move from the beautiful mountains.
It hurts me to live in a place I've never even heard of before.
It hurts me when he talks to his new CA or talks about her to me cuz I was suppose to be his CA.
It hurts me to have no friends here.
It hurts me to be so spiritually dry.
It hurts me when he talks about his patients cuz they were suppose to be our patients.
It hurts me when I think about what I thought a perfect day would be like.
It hurts me when he talks about the office cuz we were suppose to have our own office.
It hurts me to have no job.
It hurts me to feel unwanted.
It hurts me to see the bills we owe.
It hurts me to think we may never recover financially.
It hurts me to be a failure.
It hurts me to feel so lonely.
It hurts me that I don't see my boys.
It hurts me to feel not needed.
It hurts me to be going through peri menopause.
It hurts me to not be doing better with my weight loss.
It hurts me to see the scale move up not down.
It hurts me to feel so numb.
It hurts me to wake up in the morning sometimes.
It hurts me hindsight is 20/20.
It hurts me to keep applying for jobs, I shouldn't be looking for one @ my age.
It hurts me to not know my feelings.
It hurts me to feel dead inside because the life has been sucked out of me.
It hurts me to feel like a drama queen.
It hurts me that I cry so often ~ sometimes over nothing. And when I say nothing I mean nothing.
It hurts me that I threw a hissy fit on Tuesday and threw everything off the top of my desk but the computer and printer and it felt good.
It hurts me that I can't sleep well worrying about finances.
It hurts me that I am where I am in life.
It hurts me to feel sad most of the time.
It hurts me to think I feel happy after a few big gurl drinks.
It hurts me that life hurts me right now.
I think that pretty much covers it ~ that's my list for today and if I repeated myself @ all then it must be a double hurt kind of thing. I know big pity party for me right? My life sucks and so do the lives of many others right now so cry me a river right? Others have it worse, others have bad health, others have bad finances, others have already lost everything they owned, I'm just being poor little Julie but it hurts me that this is real for me, I'd like to wake up from the nightmare anytime.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
calling out Bandita Senorita!!
I see your comments and can post them on my blog but I can't get to your page to say THANKS for your words of encouragement so THANKS via post! ;-P
Monday, July 4, 2011
There I Did It!
I changed my profile location skipping one place completely but it went something like this in case you missed it....
I left St Louis, MO the end of October for Highlands, NC to live the rest of my life, working with my hubby in our own practice but...(isn't there always a little but) since we are accustomed to certain things in life (read: eating and living indoors) we closed our office and left the beautiful mountain top in NC the end of March. And here we are now on the eastern shore of Maryland ~ Salisbury MD to be exact ~ hubby has a job and as of this post I don't but surely there has got to be something here for me! ;-)
I left St Louis, MO the end of October for Highlands, NC to live the rest of my life, working with my hubby in our own practice but...(isn't there always a little but) since we are accustomed to certain things in life (read: eating and living indoors) we closed our office and left the beautiful mountain top in NC the end of March. And here we are now on the eastern shore of Maryland ~ Salisbury MD to be exact ~ hubby has a job and as of this post I don't but surely there has got to be something here for me! ;-)
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