Just Got A Reminder

everything over our head is under HIS feet! Putting my life under HIS feet again....gonna leave it there!

None of what is going on was in the plan ~ it's not the place, it's not the job for me (I have none), it's some place we've never been before, it's not the dream. This is all over my head. The dream ended.

Can't eat, not gonna cry, just gonna give it to HIM. HE IS in control, not me.

4/24/90 Was The Beginning

of a new life for me ~ the life of being a Mom! Hard to believe it has been 21 years since I gave birth to my first born blessing. He has turned out to be an great person. He is in his second year of college. We sure have missed him being around and so enjoyed the times he came home to visit. Now that we have moved so far away from him it will be long time between visits and that breaks my heart. He has a girlfriend now so prying him away from her to come to visit will be hard I'm sure. But that's OK ~ he knows we are here for him and we raised him to be a man and stand on his own two feet. We would allow the boomerang thing! His birthday was on Easter this year for the first time. I didn't cry missing his birthday and missing celebrating Easter with my boys ~ the big gurl panties were fitting OK yesterday and we stayed busy. Busy is good with all the turmoil in my life right now! ;-)

MO Wineries vs MD Wineries

MO is winning hands down!

Have been to 3 in MD now. Nothing like the MO wineries for sure. And they all charge to taste. The bottles of wine are much more expensive too.

1st stop:
Layton's Chance Vineyard & Winery
We participated in Game Night and that was a neat event. Boardgames, Wii, etc.
This place has Frappe Vino ~ like a wine slushy ~ it was good and different.
Bought two wine glasses for my collection.

2nd stop:
Costa Ventosa
5 bucks to taste all 8 wines and you get to keep the glass. Really like the colorful glass!

3rd stop:
St Michaels Winery
1 dollar per taste ~ I had 3 and got to keep the glass.

We didn't do these all the same day as they are way too far apart for that. I don't like to pay to taste unless I get the glass. Normally glasses are 2.50 to 3.00 a piece so if I pay 5 bucks to taste it is OK in my book if I get the glass. ;-P

So cons to MD wineries:
fees for tasting, expensive bottles of wine, settings are so so (corn field anyone?!)

pros to MD wineries:
they have a Maryland Wine Passport. @ the winery you get a code and a stamp unique to that winery and you can register online and earn points ~ just a fun added touch to the wine trails.

Day 3

no tears ~ must be a record for me! haha

Am I trying to deal with life, yes.

Am I focusing on HIM and not the things of this earth, best I can daily...

We signed a lease agreement this morning on a house. Can't move in until first of May. This hotel thing is cha chinging up the credit card and with no income...well that's just not good and that's not us! I am excited about getting moved in and somewhat settled. I am more than ready. LIMBO stinks.

As for a job for me. Still really struggling with that. Had my dream job, too bad it didn't give me an income. This was not the plan. This is not the place the plan was for. OK Lord, your will not mine.

Big gurl panties still don't fit well.......but pressing onward and downward (well downward when I get on a normal routine).

MiXeD EmOtIoNs

First off if you see water on your screen don't be alarmed, it's OK, it's just my eyes leaking tears from my emo self, it is harmless to your computer.

My big gurl panties aren't fitting too well these days.....

I quit my good paying cushy job with benefits the end of Oct to move to NC and start my dream job. Well the dream job was a complete failure $$ wise. But for the 5 months I was @ my dream job I did enjoy my commute (down a flight of stairs) and sitting on the bosses (aka hubby's) lap every now and then in his office during the work day, taking a lunch break with the boss, meeting and greeting new patients, collecting $$ for service rendered, etc etc etc. But all good things must come to an end (especially when they um don't pay ya a wage).

So now here I am in MD, broke, homeless and unemployed. Never been in MD before, have no friends or family here. My two sons stayed in MO when we moved to NC. Hence my MiXeD EmOtIoNs ~ in my opinion (and since this is MY blog) my life sucks right now. Hubby does have a job lined up but has not started yet. His income will not pay the bills. Therefore, here I go looking for a job for me. It's been many years since I have had to do a civilian type resume and land a job. Maybe walleyworld will hire me......."welcome to Walmart".

I find myself with tons of negative thoughts, I have learned from the best so if you can't beat them join them right?! I cry a lot, almost daily, just out of the blue comes waves of negative thinking, mixed emotions and I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I am going through the motions of life, putting one foot in front of the other, like a robot or something. Numb to the bone, defeated. Enough on that....

Since all my stuff is once again in boxes and storage unitSSS I do not have a scale to weigh myself so no weight update for ya'll. Clothes are still fitting so must be hanging about the same.

About 2 weeks ago I had a horrible sickness. I have not been that sick in years. First time since my gizmo was installed. Thinking it was food poisoning. All my stomach wanted to do was throw up, I tried to keep from doing such a thing but there was a couple times I thought my stomach was gonna come up through my throat, nothing like dry heaving. The whole next day was spent in bed, sleeping, running a fever but at least the throwing up part had stopped. I know as soon as I get settled into a place to live other than a hotel room I need to find a gizmo doctor and have him or her take a look @ things to confirm everything is in place and working properly. Hubby did call my original doctor ~ Dr Minkin ~ and talked to him while I was so sick and Dr Minkin told him what to do for me.

Last week I found my testimony and pictures on Dr Minkin's website! How cool! ;-P
http://www.mynewselfbariatrics.com/photoalbum.asp?id=460208&page=1 (maybe link will work ~ I don't know)

Sucking it up and pressing on ~ that's all for now folks.......