It's Not...

that I really try to keep my gizmo a secret, if peeps ask I am very open about it. It usually goes like this "how are you losing so much weight" and I usually say "well ya know I had that lap band surgery and it's the tool I needed to help me". So why do other peeps find it necessary to share this information with others? Especially when nothing is being asked about me personally and I'm sitting @ the same table eating lunch with them?! Just wondering because it is my business and my story.....

This is out of the mouth of a person who told me they wouldn't share my surgery with others, that they would leave it up to me if I wanted to tell or not. This same person was very upset the morning of the surgery and then a few days after surgery told me I had ruined our lives...we couldn't eat this together anymore or eat that anymore, or drink this or drink that... Don't get me wrong, this has all been settled ~ worked out ~ overcome ~ explained since then (it was mostly coming from fear) so there is NO issue there now. I'm only blogging this stuff because I feel new bandsters need to know that the surgery can be a roller coaster of emotions @ times, especially in the beginning. If you read back in my blog you will see how upset I personally was over giving up food, bread, popcorn, nuts, drink, yada yada it was for a short period of time and I'm OK with it now, I had to come to grips with the grip these things had on me and sometimes still do. (I so wanted a bite of the sandwich this person had @ lunch today ~ I miss a good sandwich!!)

anyhow after lunch we talked, I wasn't mad but I didn't plan on sharing my gizmo info w/the people @ this point in time. I believe I communicated it clearly that I would have shared it when and if I wanted to. Also that it wasn't necessary for it to be shared today, the question of "how do you feel about lap band surgery for weight loss" could have been answered w/o telling I had a gizmo.

So reminder lesson ~ listen more, talk less.

Today I Learned....

First the temptation = a whole grocery store!!!

Second the lesson = I can overcome being hurt and upset without food. I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head....from chocolate to cookies to diet soda to chips but INSTEAD I decided I would only be hurting ME and I am on this journey for ME so why hurt ME?! I sat and read a book for over an hour before I vacated my car. Then I saw a Dollar General and thought maybe they would carry the non food item I wanted and they did so I bypassed the grocery store all together!!

Third the other lesson = call a friend, read a book, text somebody, just do something besides giving into emotional eating!

onward and downward.........

Greeting from Highlands, NC

Does this photo tell how this week is gonna go?! haha Had a great day in the mtns today! Looking forward to many more...... We went out for breakfast and knowing I couldn't eat a whole omelet even if it was after 1PM and brunch time...I ordered cheese grits ~ hot diggity dog ~ awesome! Only ate half then the man candy took over for a little more of them. These peeps know how to cook grits!! ;-)

69?! Home Sweet Home?! Life....

Not 69 pounds, 69 followers!! Love it!! ;-)

Home Sweet Home?
We are in the NC mtns, visiting, trying to decide if this is home sweet home or not....

Life....can be so exciting and yet so confusing @ times!

onward and downward.......

Bandiversary, To Be IN or OUT Of The Closet?!

Bandiversary first........8 months ago today my gizmo came to live inside of me. I couldn't have come this far without the help of my gizmo. What a great tool in my weight loss journey. I still have no regrets ~ I did this for me. There are things I miss eating and sometimes I miss being able to eat lots of something because it tastes so good but overall I have no regrets.

Has taking off 46 lbs since surgery made me a better person? Has it changed my outlook on life? Has it changed my relationships? Has it changed my goals in life? Has it changed how I feel about myself? I think not. I'm still me, I still joke about my fat butt, I am still a friend to many, I still cry, I still have feelings.... The weight loss hasn't uncovered anything, my inner person is still there ~ it's just exposed a little more and still just as vulnerable to life's hurts, life's excitements, life's joys... I think I might have gained some self confidence, I still see all my flaws, (what they didn't go away with the weight?!), I just don't really feel a big huge change ~ maybe later ~ maybe not @ all....


Today I weighed in @ 186.2
Recap:
Day 1 of liquids before surgery = 232.2 so minus 46 lbs since surgery. That's almost 6 lbs per month. About 1 and 1/2 lbs per week. That average is OK with me and I know it will kick up a notch when I get back on my REGULAR exercise routine!

Now the closet issue.....
Just when I feel like I have conquered closet eating (you know those "secret" things you eat when nobody is looking) I take a bite of something in public and the food police come out....and they ask questions and make remarks like:
"why are you eating that?"
"should you be eating that?"
"is that on your diet?"
"I was wondering if you were going to eat ALL of that."
"that's really chewey, make sure you chew that good."
"don't forget to chew chew chew."
"someone ate cornbread for breakfast."
"can you eat that with the band?"
"is such and such band friendly?"
You get the picture, this really ticks me off, I know I have not taken care of my body over the years and the food police questions/remarks haven't helped so far so why do you think they would help now?! ...just saying...


Onward and downward I go.......one meal @ a time, one day @ a time.....

Inspired!!

OK bloggers.....I saw my friend Kathy tonight (the one who secretly passed on the magic jeans to me) and WOW she looks awesome and so tiny!! She inspires me to keep on going ~ we've been doing this weight loss thing together since Dec 2005 ~ she talked me into joining WW with her and it's all been good!! ;-) Thanks Kathy!

Pretty Woman....

The hubby bought me the movie for Valentine's Day! Got the 15th anniversary special edition! Now I can watch that shopping scene anytime I want to!! ;-)

HaPpY VD!!

....That's right Happy VD!! Happy Valentine's Day!! My hubby, boys, family, friends and followers are the sweethearts of my life! Thanks for the love and support!! ;-) I heart ya'll...

The Magic Jeans!!

Those jeans from my previous post......they are magic I tell ya!! Just magic! Who would have thought and why didn't my friend Kathy tell me of these powers?! Why do I call them magic you ask?! Well, first let me back up to yesterday.. Yesterday, I sent Kathy an email explaining my excitement over these jeans and being able to fit into them! She explained those were her expensive, favorite jeans and that she was sad when she got too small for them (her loss ~ literally)! I told her that is why they feel so yummmy on! So anyways I wore them again today and I have decided they are just magic jeans! They remind to only eat when I'm hungry! Not because I am bored, happy, sad, lonely, etc! (did you notice I didn't list mad in that list ~ I do NOT eat when I am mad so go ahead and tick me off daily and I will be one Skinny B!@#$ ~ oh wait that's a book title). Anyhow, I'm enjoying these magic jeans today!! onward and downward ... ;-)

My All Time Low ~ Probable Since Birth! And A Jean Shot!

I did that 3 day liquid diet thing up until last night....I ate a real dinner last night and boy was my restriction back! I made a salad, then took half of it back out of the bowl ~ so glad I did cuz I couldn't have ate the whole thing. I had a couple of bites of chicken and a little gumbo about 2 hours later...

so my all time low is 185.6 this morning!! Now to hold onto it!!

Now for the jeans....I couldn't find my jeans again this morning, of course I searched the teens room for them since that's where they were hiding from my butt for a few days last time they came up missing. So anyways I tried on some of my other jeans ~ now I have no clue where these came from besides from my friend Kathy so I am not sure how the sizes run BUT....
this particular pair button up the front, have "Cruel Girl relaxed" stitched on the inside waistband and tag reads size 13 regular how cool is that?! I'm not hung up on a size # since every piece of clothing fits different in every size but geez a 13 sure beats the heck out of the size 24's I wore way back when!! I was about a size 20 right before my gizmo came to live in me. So here's a couple of shots:

Thursday Weigh In, Liquids, Boo Boo....

What a title?!

First things first...

weigh in:
189.6 (down .2 from last week) still striving to hit that 187.6 or below from 12/31/09!

Liquids:
my plan is to do 3 days of liquids (one down, two to go) and why?! Well because I want to get some self discipline back, get focused and of course, get that scale to move in the right direction!

Boo Boo:
(aka BM) well last night after the usual 3 days of nothing, it happened and oh la la Dr Oz would have been proud!! For the followers that do not have a gizmo....this is a problem area for bandsters and we talk about it often here in blog land. TMI maybe but the helpful hints peeps give to help with this problem are not TMI!

onward and downward........are ya with me?! ;-)