Just when I get my big gurl panties on and start to come around with a glimmer of hope something slaps me in the face again and the hurt stings me, my heart breaks, and the tears come....so here is my "it hurts me" list ~ like it or not here it comes and if you my reader don't want to know what hurts me then stop reading now. ;-P
It hurts me that hubby and I failed in our own office/business adventure.
It hurts me that we weren't on the same page.
It hurts me we had to move from the beautiful mountains.
It hurts me to live in a place I've never even heard of before.
It hurts me when he talks to his new CA or talks about her to me cuz I was suppose to be his CA.
It hurts me to have no friends here.
It hurts me to be so spiritually dry.
It hurts me when he talks about his patients cuz they were suppose to be our patients.
It hurts me when I think about what I thought a perfect day would be like.
It hurts me when he talks about the office cuz we were suppose to have our own office.
It hurts me to have no job.
It hurts me to feel unwanted.
It hurts me to see the bills we owe.
It hurts me to think we may never recover financially.
It hurts me to be a failure.
It hurts me to feel so lonely.
It hurts me that I don't see my boys.
It hurts me to feel not needed.
It hurts me to be going through peri menopause.
It hurts me to not be doing better with my weight loss.
It hurts me to see the scale move up not down.
It hurts me to feel so numb.
It hurts me to wake up in the morning sometimes.
It hurts me hindsight is 20/20.
It hurts me to keep applying for jobs, I shouldn't be looking for one @ my age.
It hurts me to not know my feelings.
It hurts me to feel dead inside because the life has been sucked out of me.
It hurts me to feel like a drama queen.
It hurts me that I cry so often ~ sometimes over nothing. And when I say nothing I mean nothing.
It hurts me that I threw a hissy fit on Tuesday and threw everything off the top of my desk but the computer and printer and it felt good.
It hurts me that I can't sleep well worrying about finances.
It hurts me that I am where I am in life.
It hurts me to feel sad most of the time.
It hurts me to think I feel happy after a few big gurl drinks.
It hurts me that life hurts me right now.
I think that pretty much covers it ~ that's my list for today and if I repeated myself @ all then it must be a double hurt kind of thing. I know big pity party for me right? My life sucks and so do the lives of many others right now so cry me a river right? Others have it worse, others have bad health, others have bad finances, others have already lost everything they owned, I'm just being poor little Julie but it hurts me that this is real for me, I'd like to wake up from the nightmare anytime.
New LOW!!!
14 years ago
3 comments:
Hi There, I think your post was a great post to let it out.. scream yell stomp your feet curse, what ever it takes to release the anger the hurt .. all of it.
I have not walked in your shoes, but I know about hurt, pain and anger (as my wonderful loving husband was taken from me in January)... and so, I would wake up every morning and say.. how much better people who have problems are better off than me. Because at least they are alive. So now what to do.. you need to journal your ass off.. write an action plan, envision where you want to go and what you need to do to get there.. asterisk the hard stuff and flag the easier stuff.. but just do it.. dont sit back and wonder.. make a plan and start to act upon it.. I know you are hurting.. but no one will help you but you.. you will have lots of love and support, but only you can take the next step. hugs.. Barbara
I am soo sorry you're going through this... Know that we're hee to "listen" and support you.... You're in my prayers.....
I'm a little late with this response (been playing catch up) but I just wanted to tell you that while things look bleak now, they WILL turn around, you WILL get back on your feet financially, you WILL get your weight loss back on track (I see from a newer post you're already getting there) and you WILL see the light at the end of the tunnel. We're here for you. ((HUGS))
Post a Comment