It's Not...

that I really try to keep my gizmo a secret, if peeps ask I am very open about it. It usually goes like this "how are you losing so much weight" and I usually say "well ya know I had that lap band surgery and it's the tool I needed to help me". So why do other peeps find it necessary to share this information with others? Especially when nothing is being asked about me personally and I'm sitting @ the same table eating lunch with them?! Just wondering because it is my business and my story.....

This is out of the mouth of a person who told me they wouldn't share my surgery with others, that they would leave it up to me if I wanted to tell or not. This same person was very upset the morning of the surgery and then a few days after surgery told me I had ruined our lives...we couldn't eat this together anymore or eat that anymore, or drink this or drink that... Don't get me wrong, this has all been settled ~ worked out ~ overcome ~ explained since then (it was mostly coming from fear) so there is NO issue there now. I'm only blogging this stuff because I feel new bandsters need to know that the surgery can be a roller coaster of emotions @ times, especially in the beginning. If you read back in my blog you will see how upset I personally was over giving up food, bread, popcorn, nuts, drink, yada yada it was for a short period of time and I'm OK with it now, I had to come to grips with the grip these things had on me and sometimes still do. (I so wanted a bite of the sandwich this person had @ lunch today ~ I miss a good sandwich!!)

anyhow after lunch we talked, I wasn't mad but I didn't plan on sharing my gizmo info w/the people @ this point in time. I believe I communicated it clearly that I would have shared it when and if I wanted to. Also that it wasn't necessary for it to be shared today, the question of "how do you feel about lap band surgery for weight loss" could have been answered w/o telling I had a gizmo.

So reminder lesson ~ listen more, talk less.

Today I Learned....

First the temptation = a whole grocery store!!!

Second the lesson = I can overcome being hurt and upset without food. I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head....from chocolate to cookies to diet soda to chips but INSTEAD I decided I would only be hurting ME and I am on this journey for ME so why hurt ME?! I sat and read a book for over an hour before I vacated my car. Then I saw a Dollar General and thought maybe they would carry the non food item I wanted and they did so I bypassed the grocery store all together!!

Third the other lesson = call a friend, read a book, text somebody, just do something besides giving into emotional eating!

onward and downward.........

Greeting from Highlands, NC

Does this photo tell how this week is gonna go?! haha Had a great day in the mtns today! Looking forward to many more...... We went out for breakfast and knowing I couldn't eat a whole omelet even if it was after 1PM and brunch time...I ordered cheese grits ~ hot diggity dog ~ awesome! Only ate half then the man candy took over for a little more of them. These peeps know how to cook grits!! ;-)

69?! Home Sweet Home?! Life....

Not 69 pounds, 69 followers!! Love it!! ;-)

Home Sweet Home?
We are in the NC mtns, visiting, trying to decide if this is home sweet home or not....

Life....can be so exciting and yet so confusing @ times!

onward and downward.......

Bandiversary, To Be IN or OUT Of The Closet?!

Bandiversary first........8 months ago today my gizmo came to live inside of me. I couldn't have come this far without the help of my gizmo. What a great tool in my weight loss journey. I still have no regrets ~ I did this for me. There are things I miss eating and sometimes I miss being able to eat lots of something because it tastes so good but overall I have no regrets.

Has taking off 46 lbs since surgery made me a better person? Has it changed my outlook on life? Has it changed my relationships? Has it changed my goals in life? Has it changed how I feel about myself? I think not. I'm still me, I still joke about my fat butt, I am still a friend to many, I still cry, I still have feelings.... The weight loss hasn't uncovered anything, my inner person is still there ~ it's just exposed a little more and still just as vulnerable to life's hurts, life's excitements, life's joys... I think I might have gained some self confidence, I still see all my flaws, (what they didn't go away with the weight?!), I just don't really feel a big huge change ~ maybe later ~ maybe not @ all....


Today I weighed in @ 186.2
Recap:
Day 1 of liquids before surgery = 232.2 so minus 46 lbs since surgery. That's almost 6 lbs per month. About 1 and 1/2 lbs per week. That average is OK with me and I know it will kick up a notch when I get back on my REGULAR exercise routine!

Now the closet issue.....
Just when I feel like I have conquered closet eating (you know those "secret" things you eat when nobody is looking) I take a bite of something in public and the food police come out....and they ask questions and make remarks like:
"why are you eating that?"
"should you be eating that?"
"is that on your diet?"
"I was wondering if you were going to eat ALL of that."
"that's really chewey, make sure you chew that good."
"don't forget to chew chew chew."
"someone ate cornbread for breakfast."
"can you eat that with the band?"
"is such and such band friendly?"
You get the picture, this really ticks me off, I know I have not taken care of my body over the years and the food police questions/remarks haven't helped so far so why do you think they would help now?! ...just saying...


Onward and downward I go.......one meal @ a time, one day @ a time.....

Inspired!!

OK bloggers.....I saw my friend Kathy tonight (the one who secretly passed on the magic jeans to me) and WOW she looks awesome and so tiny!! She inspires me to keep on going ~ we've been doing this weight loss thing together since Dec 2005 ~ she talked me into joining WW with her and it's all been good!! ;-) Thanks Kathy!

Pretty Woman....

The hubby bought me the movie for Valentine's Day! Got the 15th anniversary special edition! Now I can watch that shopping scene anytime I want to!! ;-)

HaPpY VD!!

....That's right Happy VD!! Happy Valentine's Day!! My hubby, boys, family, friends and followers are the sweethearts of my life! Thanks for the love and support!! ;-) I heart ya'll...

The Magic Jeans!!

Those jeans from my previous post......they are magic I tell ya!! Just magic! Who would have thought and why didn't my friend Kathy tell me of these powers?! Why do I call them magic you ask?! Well, first let me back up to yesterday.. Yesterday, I sent Kathy an email explaining my excitement over these jeans and being able to fit into them! She explained those were her expensive, favorite jeans and that she was sad when she got too small for them (her loss ~ literally)! I told her that is why they feel so yummmy on! So anyways I wore them again today and I have decided they are just magic jeans! They remind to only eat when I'm hungry! Not because I am bored, happy, sad, lonely, etc! (did you notice I didn't list mad in that list ~ I do NOT eat when I am mad so go ahead and tick me off daily and I will be one Skinny B!@#$ ~ oh wait that's a book title). Anyhow, I'm enjoying these magic jeans today!! onward and downward ... ;-)

My All Time Low ~ Probable Since Birth! And A Jean Shot!

I did that 3 day liquid diet thing up until last night....I ate a real dinner last night and boy was my restriction back! I made a salad, then took half of it back out of the bowl ~ so glad I did cuz I couldn't have ate the whole thing. I had a couple of bites of chicken and a little gumbo about 2 hours later...

so my all time low is 185.6 this morning!! Now to hold onto it!!

Now for the jeans....I couldn't find my jeans again this morning, of course I searched the teens room for them since that's where they were hiding from my butt for a few days last time they came up missing. So anyways I tried on some of my other jeans ~ now I have no clue where these came from besides from my friend Kathy so I am not sure how the sizes run BUT....
this particular pair button up the front, have "Cruel Girl relaxed" stitched on the inside waistband and tag reads size 13 regular how cool is that?! I'm not hung up on a size # since every piece of clothing fits different in every size but geez a 13 sure beats the heck out of the size 24's I wore way back when!! I was about a size 20 right before my gizmo came to live in me. So here's a couple of shots:

Thursday Weigh In, Liquids, Boo Boo....

What a title?!

First things first...

weigh in:
189.6 (down .2 from last week) still striving to hit that 187.6 or below from 12/31/09!

Liquids:
my plan is to do 3 days of liquids (one down, two to go) and why?! Well because I want to get some self discipline back, get focused and of course, get that scale to move in the right direction!

Boo Boo:
(aka BM) well last night after the usual 3 days of nothing, it happened and oh la la Dr Oz would have been proud!! For the followers that do not have a gizmo....this is a problem area for bandsters and we talk about it often here in blog land. TMI maybe but the helpful hints peeps give to help with this problem are not TMI!

onward and downward........are ya with me?! ;-)

Fashion Fun For Me 101

First I must say it felt like the shopping scene from Pretty Woman but it came no where near the $$$ Richard Gear put out for Julia Robert's new wardrobe!! ;-)






an outfit to wear now ~ shirt, pants, shoes...all new!! (don't look @ my socks LOL)














The shirt can be worn now, not the pants too tight! I was fixing my hair (I straightened it today) when the hubster took the snapshot. I left the design part in ~ it's the reflection from the front door onto the wall.









shirt and pants both too tight now but by summer....(the hubster said I shouldn't put the stuff is too tight but the truth shall set me free!)











This is a for now outfit and those socks again! haha














a summer outfit, all too tight for now. I will be looking for some red, white and navy blue accessories for this outfit and the next one. Sorry I can't seem to line up the pictures in the blog....









and this last one is for summer too....all too tight!!

More Nose Bling Comments

Yes, more nose bling comments…..went something like this ~ I was on my way out of the cafeteria with my ice water that I had nicely squeezed a fresh lemon wedge into (yummy so much better than plain water) and a co worker says “good morning” and I turn and say good morning right back to him. He said “wait a minute” ~ “you’re a hippie now?” “you got your nose pierced” “mr so and so, she’s a hippie she got her nose pierced” and mr so and so says nothing, the first guy says “I like it” and yet another co worker nearby says “I bet that hurt” I said “not as bad as I expected it to” end of conversation. Take my bling and shove it! I have not had one negative comment but they are implied LOL! ;-)

"Official" Thursday Weigh In Results

189.8 up .2 from last Thursday according to my records. I've been weighing every morning again and it seems to get my mind set in the right direction for the day (regardless of what the scale yells @ me). In my journal every morning I've been writing my word "Believe" and my personal challege that I have going on right now...."eat only when hungry" I've had a few slip ups but overall I ask myself are you REALLY hungry before I eat ~ stop, ask, listen to your body ~ that's what I need to do!! onward and downward

60 60 60!! Not Pounds But Followers!! And More..

It's official I have 60 followers!! How exciting! Welcome ALL!! Love each one of you because you support me just by following me! And your comments are so encouraging so keep it up gang!! BTW is it my new nose bling that attracted you to my blog?! LOL ;-)

Yesterday my challenge was to only eat when hungry. I did. Until I got home that is. I didn’t go off the deep end but I did eat some things when I wasn’t hungry. I need more structure in my “@ home time”. (like exercise structure!)

My scale moved a wee bit this morning. (191 so down .2 from yesterday) I will try to keep it down today! The struggles of life...

Nose Bling Comments...

Now I know most of the comments are not to my face but remember my motto "if they are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone."?!

However, I did just have someone ask me "is that new" as he pointed @ his nose and I smiled and said "yes" and he said "I like it" and went on to explain his daughter talked to him when she was fresh out of college about getting it done and he explained about job interviews and such and that he didn't think it was a good idea right now....she came home with "nose bling" anyways! A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! ;-)

My Personal Challenge For Today...

“eat ONLY when hungry” so of course my stomach is growling and my brain has already told it that I’m starving to death. Go figure.

This morning has started out kinda comical ~ comical, well OK, I have to laugh so I won't be upset!!

Roads were snow covered the closer I got to work (this south paw does not like driving in these conditions), I get parked and zip up my coat HOWEVER the zipper gets stuck less than half way up! I try and try won't move up or down and I'm getting hot and frustrated sitting in my car. So fine! I pull up the hood and snap all the snaps I can and walk to the building. I have to pull the coat over my head to get it off. I take my coat to maintenance where they have many tools and ask for help. The nice volunteer puts a little bees wax on the material that is all cranked up in the zipper and slides the zipper over the material and wholla it's un zipped! They proceed to tell me that my DH needs to dress me in the morning and that I need to switch to velcro closures. Well OK....

Back in the office the email gives me fits, I reboot the system, still issues so I go to the weight watchers web site and it hangs up on me too and my long post goes off into cyberspace....now we'll see what happens in blog land.

In the meantime I'm starving to death because my personal challenge for today is to only eat when hungry.........

life is grand ~ onward and downward I go.....

Nose Bling Reward!

Yes, a gift to me as a reward for my weight loss ~ nose bling!! ;-)

Over The Scale Episode and I'm A Winner!!

So I weighed again this morning....why you ask? Well because my brain told me if I went back to weighing every morning it would be a self check first thing ~ kind of get my focus and my groove on for the day! Today it spoke 189.0 to me! Now you know I had to repeat that press the scale, clear it, wait for 0000.0 (well maybe not that many zeros), slowly step up, trying to place feet and toes in the exact same location THREE times ~ yes, 3 times is my thing and if I get the same reading twice I go with it! If not I repeat until I get the same reading twice! So I admit....I have issues, probable a lot more than I know about already!! Onward and downward...... ;-)

I'm a winner........remember that blog post from 12/5 and the scavenger hunt, candle light walk thing...well I forgot to mention it was not one big prize, it was lots of individual prizes and last week in the mail I got something from Augusta, MO and I said please let me be a winner but NOT the prize for 10 peeps to go to the winery for free wine tasting cuz I don't have 10 peeps to do it with!! Anyways the actual street address confirmed that was not it. So I opened it....and yes, we won a 20 gift certificate to a little cafe out there! How exciting. Now if I could only win the lottery........

Stupid Scale Stupid Me.....

weight up 1.4 pounds this week to 189.6

why am I so stupid?

I know WHAT to do, I know HOW to do it, I know WHEN...wait that reminds me of one of my favorite movies...Pretty Woman!

Anyways let me take it one meal @ a time this week and try to move the stupid scale in the right direction.

onward and downward.