Fighting Voices....

so I'm sitting in a tall patio chair soaking up the sun with my feet resting on a table that folds in half that my youngest son lays on when he wants to lay in the sun. (he doesn't like to lay on the brick patio so he took his fold up table outside?!) anywho.....

one voice says "hey that would be nice to stretch out on that table instead of sitting in this chair"

other voices says "you weigh 230 pounds you'll fold that table up fat so"

first voice says "she doesn't weigh 230 pounds anymore she weighs around 185 or so"

other voices says "oh yeah I forgot"

first voice says "she might weigh close to what her youngest son weighs"

Julie says to herself ~ "I will NOT test the table today"......

But then I was thinking how I still see myself as 230 pounds and forget sometimes I don't weigh in the 200's anymore ~ I'm sick in the head!!!

;-P

BYOC from Drazil....

1. In the spirit of back to school time - what is your favorite school supply?
**a new lunch box**

2. Assume your house is on fire and the whole thing is going to burn to the ground and your loved ones are out and safe….and you have a few minutes to grab 5 things. Just five. What would they be?

* laptop
** my new bras
*** my new undies
**** my shoes
***** my suitcase
(note: house is pretty much empty, valuables, pictures, etc all in storage unit so I'd grab my little travel suitcase and my new things and watch the sucker burn)


3. In the spirit of my new found love on vacation – what is your favorite drink – alcoholic or not?

*alcoholic = pom poms


4. When is your birthday (if you want to say, no year needed) and what is your Zodiac sign. Does your sign match your personality?

8-28 Virgo


5. A little spin on my repeat question. I usually ask which blog or comment stuck with you and why? You can answer that as usual or how about just giving a summary of your week or how you feel about blogland this past week or anything you noticed…does that make sense?

* week was good, traveled on Tuesday, back to work on Wednesday ~ getting back into blogging!!

Another Weigh In...

187.4 still hanging in there right around this number....now if I would eat right and exercise I'd be down there like Dinnerland in the 170's!! ;-)

Thursday Weigh In

187.2 not my lowest and not my highest!! ;-P

It's almost my bithday! And my co worker put a few streamers on my cubical for me and left me a card since we won't work together again until one day next week. Hard to believe I'll be 48 this year. Some days I feel like a spring chicken, some days I feel like an old old old crippled up lady ~ I prefer spring chicken days!

Tomorrow I am planning a long road trip. I will load a variety of praise and worship music into the CD player and pray all goes well with the trip!

Tonight is support group but I have a list a mile long to accomplish and have to prepare the house for an Open House on Sunday. Thinking I won't make group.

Enough rambling ~ catch ya later ~ onward and downward I go..........

That Was Worth It Again!

And I shaved 4 mins off the 3 miles tonight.

No ear buds, no praise and worship music, just me talking to HIM and I was doing all the talking because I didn't hear a word from HIM.

Now I know this blog is dedicated to my gizmo but some of my other blogger friends have come out of the closet about various things so maybe it's time I came out about my Jesus! If it wasn't for HIM I wouldn't be who I am today or where I am today. Over the last 6 years I have drifted off the righteous path here and there but HE is faithful and has been there every step of the way waiting for me to come back. So I poured my heart out to him for 51 minutes, HE knows it all, HE knows I need immediate direction in my life, HE owns it all, HE is the God of my home, the God of my marriage, the God of my family, the God of my business, the God of everything and HE knows my hearts desire, I just had to get it out on my own! So there ya have it, out of the closet, you have met the Jesus freak in me!

Now when I was almost done with my 3 miles I had to truck up hill next to the KFC and then cross in front of it and let me tell ya that fried chicken butt was smelling pretty awesome!! And I said self after what you are about to finish you do not want to waste the calorie burn on fried chicken butt no matter how awesome it smells! Hey wait maybe that was the immediate direction from HIM I needed.....no, seriously I need direction in life things not food things, I know not to eat fried chicken butt! I can just plaster fried chicken butt to my butt, gut and thighs!

Now to cool off, stretch out and accomplish something in this house tonight.

Onward and downward....

That Was Worth It!

I forced myself to walk today. New tennis shoes on, 3 miles later and 55 mins later it was worth it......really it was. I had my ear buds in, listened to praise and worship music and let my mind run with thoughts.

Was thinking....

it's been a long time since I blogged. Sorry!

my gizmo seems to be fine, seems to be working fine, I have no issues unless I eat too fast w/o chewing. Still tight in the AM so java, protein shakes, etc go down easier.

weight........up and down but still above 180, holding about 185 now days. Not my lowest point but for sure one of my most stressful points in life!

I'm trying to get back on track with my spiritual life, eating right and exercise.

A comment was made about me coming to MO and finding a doctor but losing my Jesus because she hadn't heard me talk about HIM lately. Ouch! I had even stopped going to church. Now being in church doesn't make me a Christian no more than being in a garage makes me a car. My point is I am not where I was and I desire to get back to where I was and grow in HIM more.

Also my life is in limbo, my husband is 600 miles away trying to start a business and I'm in MO trying to sell a house and continue to work. My sons are off to college. The house is empty....just me and a few things to live with.

So now you kind of see why I haven't blogged much....if you can't say (blog) something nice don't say anything @ all?! haha

I've missed ya'll!! ;-)

Stinky Stink.....

Life be stinking in my opinion right now. So to prevent a stinking thinking attitude blog I'll post what I am grateful for....

My Lord and Savior
My Husband
My Boys
My Blog Buddies (I just read some and got caught up and they made me smile!)

Deep down I am grateful for a job, a paycheck and vacation days!

I really want my house to sell.

I really want our business to take off with many patients.

I really want to be with my man candy.

So what I want I have no control over that makes me have to focus on what I'm grateful for and not what I want!

Scale.......staying the same, hoover right around 180 - 185 depending on my salt content and time of the month. Why? Lack of exercise and not eating the best I could be.

I need a breakthrough!!

;-P

Thursday Weigh In...

was 181.2 this week.

I have missed blogging....sorry! Nothing weight wise to write home about! I can't say plateau I can say lack of discipline, not eating much of anything but I know for myself if I do not eat high protein, low carb and journal I don't take weight off.

I spent an extended 4th of July holiday in NC with my man candy and we exercised pretty much daily....walked most of the time, did a bike ride one evening. It felt good to be out enjoying the beautiful outdoors and weather. The fireworks were awesome and right outside our office door so I felt like they were just for me!

I went to the meeting @ the weight loss procedure facility last night. The topic was on Food Safety and of course Jessie did a great job ~ she ROCKS! She really is there for everyone no matter what size you are.

I've been a little depressed lately with the man candy and I being separated and "the boys" doing their own thing ~ I get lonely. I've had visits from friends and I have not bought any junk food for the house cuz I know I would turn to it so that has helped. So as a previous blog said....I cry....I cry a lot in my opinion but since I don't weigh and measure my tears I'm not sure it is a lot haha!

Thanks for following me onward and downward and through this time of my life! ;-)

Happy First Birthday To My Gizmo!!

One year ago today my gizmo came to live inside of me!! ;-P

This morning my weigh in was the highest it's been all week (yes, I've been weighing every day again)

183.8 and I was 180.4 just 2 days ago?? I was trying to get to the 170's by the gizmo's birthday but that didn't happen. I'm OK with it.

There will be no celebrating with cake and ice cream for my gizmo and me, instead we are taking off for the weekend!! Gonna go meet the eye candy @ a 1/2 point to reconnect! What a birthday gift! ;-P

Need to post some new pics as I got a new do this past week....thanks for reading!

onward and downward....

Tomorrow Is The Big Day!!

6-18-09 to 6-18-10! I'll post more tomorrow! ;-)

Sunday Thoughts....

~ sunny day!

~ back to my paying job tomorrow, ugh

~ eye candy washing vehicle.

~ coupons cut (why did I ever stop using coupons for food items?)

~ sweepstakes entered (maybe I'll win that grill)

~ java going in.

~ need motivation.

~ where's my food journal?

~ lots of things I should be doing....

Emotional Eating is a NO so I cry.......

and I cry and I cry and I cry or so it seems to me, I don't think I have cried this amount of tears since my Grandpa was very sick in the hospital and @ the same time my dog developed "storm phobia" and she was headed for the pound and I was suffering from sleep apnea and having horrible nightmares........

And why you ask am I emotional?! Why should I be? The man candy and I are launching our very own business venture, it's an exciting time so why all the flippin' tears?!

Chalk it up to mama separation from her boys. Now these aren't just boys these are young men. One has been off to college for a year and the other one has been out of high school and working full time for year so they haven't really been around anyways but it really hit home with the youngest one moving his things out of the house that I am officially an empty nester and um it hurts, it hurts to not be needed anymore, to not have someone depend on you for nuturing, to be just another woman in the crowd. My heart is heavy but if I keep busy with stuff I don't seem to be as bad but tonight I am an official cry baby. And since I can't turn to food I turn to blog.........

thanks for listening my fellow bloggers and bandster peeps! I wish I could eat a side of grass raised beef right now..........not really.

So Begins A New Week!! ;-)

Today's official weigh in was 181.2 ~ told ya it was PMS weight gain last week!!

Since today begins a new week for me my goal this week (it's been awhile since I set a goal) is to take off that 1.2 pounds and exercise 3 times this week!!

I must move onward and downward!! ;-P

Have No Fear My Faithful Followers....

184.8 is a fluke and totally a PMS thing cuz no way did I eat or drink enough extra calories this week to gain 3 pounds! The scale lies sometimes but I have learned to not look @ the weight gain every 4 weeks that I seem to have!!

On a high note, we took my car to dent devil this morning and we walked back ~ 2 or 3 city blocks and I was feeling good about it so I also did the short circle in the neighborhood! My first summertime walk in the neighborhood!!

onward and downward.........(do you hear that scale?!)

MyNewSelf Success Story!!

Remember I posted the surgical place does a newsletter with testimonies? Well this month has mine! I am not sure how to post the newsletter itself with the pictures so until I figure that out here's my words:


Weight loss surgery? Me?! YES!
But not without a lot of consideration, research and weighing of the pros and
cons first! To me surgery is not something to be taken lightly. But I was at a
point in my life where I needed to take charge of my health and I needed help! I
needed a tool. So on 6/18/2009 I was given my “gizmo”, a Lap-band, by Doctor
Minkin.
The Lap-band was not the magic cure for my obesity, because I still have to do
my part! I need to eat right, keep a food journal and exercise, but it is a great
tool for taking weight off and keeping it off.
In the 10 months since surgery I have lost 51 pounds. I feel so much better
about my health, my eating habits and the path my life is taking. I no longer
dread exercise because it feels good to set goals and accomplish them, to push
my body beyond limits it has never seen. I like learning about high protein
foods, what foods work best with my Lap-band, and about supplements.
My gizmo has changed my life for the better. Onward and downward…..

Elevator Girl?!

went to NC last weekend...we stopped about 1/2 way and in the morning I went down to the lobby for 2 cups of java. I head for the elevator. Cleaning crew are getting on with big laundry buggy so I wait for the doors to close (no room for me and the java anyways) and once they start off I push the up button. From next to me I hear a mans voice "I love a woman that knows how to use the elevator" I smile and wait for the doors to open. He gets on with me. He then proceeds to ask me if I slept well and I reply yes. Then he asks me if I had breakfast and I hold up the cups of java and say this is breakfast. He is a hotel worker of some sort. I exit on the 4th floor.

Next day I'm @ a conference and I go to my car to put my laptop in the trunk (remember Obama was there and I didn't want the hassles of security and a laptop) and I get back on the elevator and this man gets on with me and asks are you a such and such....no, I'm not but my husband is...he then asks where our place is and I tell him where it will be and we have some more small talk before we exit. I learn later who he is....James "Bonecrusher" Smith.

so guess I'm the elevator girl...........

Official Weigh In

181.8 up slightly ~ if only I'd get myself back on track!!

Just Saying.....

I'm in NC for a few days, we came over for a convention that happened to be held @ the Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC and who decides to take a vacation here the same weekend? Well, I'm sure it's been all over the news....Obama! Of course this gave me circus thoughts with all the hyped up security that would be @ the resort. But I must say I was very impressed with the way things went ~ almost like they were really trying NOT to impact other guests of the resort. Our car was sniffed every morning by a dog and my classes were held in Vanderbilt wing of the resort where the Obama's were staying so I had to go through a security screening every time I went to class. It was kind of like air port security and no big deal really. It was harder for me to prove who I was and what my middle name was to the NC state driver's license peeps! So just saying..........job well done to protect the prez and guests! ;-)

51, 51, 51...

Official weigh in Thursday!! 181.2 this morning that's 51 lbs since surgery day baby!! I'll take it!

Went shopping last night and it was FUN! It is fun to shop when you can put clothes on and um they flippin' fit!! ;-)

On a side note I have been asked to give my testimony for the WLS centers newsletter to include before and after pics! I'm working on my verbage as I type this. I like the feeling of success and if my story helps even one person to make the decision to have or not to have WLS I'm happy!!

onward and downward.........

Me A Slacker and Those Capri Pants From Last Summer....

OK so I have been slacking in blogging area ~ it's not that I don't have a million thoughts in my head that I should write down....it's that we are in the process of selling stuff, moving to a new state, fixing things in current house, starting a new business, packing, and oh yeah still working full time! So yes I am a slacker with a few excuses! My weight is staying right around 182. So those capri pants from last summer are too big but I'm wearing them even if it does look like I have a huge poopie diaper on ~ haha ~ onward and downward....

A Little Review...

Went to the dietitian on Wednesday ~ let me first say I just love her! She is real, upbeat, informative and encouraging. She really cares about each person that comes into the practice for surgery. She doesn't judge your body size, she just wants to help you with your nutritional and vitamin needs. And she says when I move I can still contact the staff there!

My ideal body weight is 132 pounds, that's 100 lbs to take off since surgery, I've taken off 50 now and that's 50% ~ most lapbanders take off 55% of the weight in the first 12 months, I've done 50% in 9 months so I am considered a successful lapbander!! Hot diggity dog!

It's very early my time and I'm beat so if this doesn't read correctly you'll know why!

;-P

If The Shoe Fits Wear It?!

So I put on a pair of shoes I bought last summer with the peep toe thing going on....well 50 lbs later they are falling off my feet!! I have heard your shoe size changes but I really didn't think....it was true!

onward and downward...

Nine, Nine, Nine...Fifty, Fifty, Fifty....

9 months bandiversary!!

182 this morning ~ looking for those 170's!!

50.2 pounds gone!!

I'm off to do the happy dance! (maybe some new pics and measurements later?!)




So the nine fingers things is kinda backwards but so am I!! haha
Measurements:

waist 37
hips 44 1/2
chest 44
wrist 6 1/4
forearm 10 1/2
thigh 24 1/2
calf 16 1/2
ankle 8 1/4
upperarm 14 1/4
neck 14 3/4

took off a little bit of inches here and there, feel better in my clothes, can fit into some smaller sizes sometimes, overall ~ all is well!! ;-P

Gizmo Update! Traveling Clothes.

184.2 this morning...... working it!

Went to see my favorite lap band doctor this morning. He was dressed a little strange. Guessing the x-ray garb is for the protection of all, well everyone but the patient that is, LOL. He did a little tweak of a fill this morning under the flora thing x-ray ma bob (maybe I should google the technical name but does it really matter?!) Fact is he could see the port, the tube, the gizmo, the pouch that was created for me and we watched the fluid go in and down, a little tweak, more fluid in and down, interesting, wishing I could see a little better. Anyways his report was something like this "everything looks like it did the day I put it in". That is a good thing cuz my lap band brain often worries "did I eat too much that meal and stretch out my itty bitty pouch?!" He assured me my pouch looked great, keep up the good work, continue to eat good proteins, etc. Oh, and by the way, today....liquids, tomorrow next stage of foods, and the next day is the next stage of foods and back to normal after that.

Now my recent delima since last weeks visit has been trying to find a lap band doctor in the area I am moving to. The office that is the closest to my new home wants 500 bucks non refundable, goes nothing towards any of my care, just a flat 500 bucks to see my smiling face! (my face is really not worth that amount of money!) So I called the next one on the list...first visit 300-400 dollars, no fills, then upper GI, then a fill and each fill 111.00 ~ so I'm thinking "forget it, just give me a needle to have on hand incase of an emergency unfill". Dr Minkin set me straight on those thoughts and he is right, I need a local doctor, a local support system, etc. The lap band rep was on hand, gave me some info on where to go to and what to do and they will do all they can to help find me a new doctor in my new location.

On another note I made a trip to MI this past weekend and my Aunt Vivian has been cleaning out her closet and had the mother load of size 14s, 12s, 10s and etc etc etc! So I went through 2 totes of clothes, took capri pants that are very near being able to be worn by me and left jeans since I have so many already (and we are moving and I don't want to take more than I will use) ~ how exciting to enjoy the benefits of others losing weight before and faster than you!! I love having clothes travel to me, even if I have to pick them up!

onward and downward........

Here's a shot of the new to me clothes:

Official Weekly Weigh In Results, Questions In My Head, etc...

It's been awhile, we have been traveling and that means no scale tied to my leg! haha

184.6 was the result this morning.

I'm almost 9 months out from surgery now. Things have slowed considerable. Lack of exercise, lack of food journal, lack of self discipline are playing a part of the slow down I know. I know I've been doing a little stress eating. Not good!

Monday I go for an upper GI flourascope thing, Dr. Minkin will do a fill under the "light" if needed, he will check lap band placement, pouch placement, etc. I think it will help ease any mental anguish because I find myself wondering sometimes....have I stretched my pouch? did I eat too much just now? did I drink too soon after my meal?

onward and downward.....

Do You Ever See Yourself In The Mirror And....

wonder who that is?! Seriously when I get a full glimpse, like in a dressing room mirror, I wonder "who is that"?! Almost like my mind is in someone elses body, a body I do not know or recognize. Very strange feeling. ;-)

It's Not...

that I really try to keep my gizmo a secret, if peeps ask I am very open about it. It usually goes like this "how are you losing so much weight" and I usually say "well ya know I had that lap band surgery and it's the tool I needed to help me". So why do other peeps find it necessary to share this information with others? Especially when nothing is being asked about me personally and I'm sitting @ the same table eating lunch with them?! Just wondering because it is my business and my story.....

This is out of the mouth of a person who told me they wouldn't share my surgery with others, that they would leave it up to me if I wanted to tell or not. This same person was very upset the morning of the surgery and then a few days after surgery told me I had ruined our lives...we couldn't eat this together anymore or eat that anymore, or drink this or drink that... Don't get me wrong, this has all been settled ~ worked out ~ overcome ~ explained since then (it was mostly coming from fear) so there is NO issue there now. I'm only blogging this stuff because I feel new bandsters need to know that the surgery can be a roller coaster of emotions @ times, especially in the beginning. If you read back in my blog you will see how upset I personally was over giving up food, bread, popcorn, nuts, drink, yada yada it was for a short period of time and I'm OK with it now, I had to come to grips with the grip these things had on me and sometimes still do. (I so wanted a bite of the sandwich this person had @ lunch today ~ I miss a good sandwich!!)

anyhow after lunch we talked, I wasn't mad but I didn't plan on sharing my gizmo info w/the people @ this point in time. I believe I communicated it clearly that I would have shared it when and if I wanted to. Also that it wasn't necessary for it to be shared today, the question of "how do you feel about lap band surgery for weight loss" could have been answered w/o telling I had a gizmo.

So reminder lesson ~ listen more, talk less.

Today I Learned....

First the temptation = a whole grocery store!!!

Second the lesson = I can overcome being hurt and upset without food. I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head....from chocolate to cookies to diet soda to chips but INSTEAD I decided I would only be hurting ME and I am on this journey for ME so why hurt ME?! I sat and read a book for over an hour before I vacated my car. Then I saw a Dollar General and thought maybe they would carry the non food item I wanted and they did so I bypassed the grocery store all together!!

Third the other lesson = call a friend, read a book, text somebody, just do something besides giving into emotional eating!

onward and downward.........

Greeting from Highlands, NC

Does this photo tell how this week is gonna go?! haha Had a great day in the mtns today! Looking forward to many more...... We went out for breakfast and knowing I couldn't eat a whole omelet even if it was after 1PM and brunch time...I ordered cheese grits ~ hot diggity dog ~ awesome! Only ate half then the man candy took over for a little more of them. These peeps know how to cook grits!! ;-)

69?! Home Sweet Home?! Life....

Not 69 pounds, 69 followers!! Love it!! ;-)

Home Sweet Home?
We are in the NC mtns, visiting, trying to decide if this is home sweet home or not....

Life....can be so exciting and yet so confusing @ times!

onward and downward.......

Bandiversary, To Be IN or OUT Of The Closet?!

Bandiversary first........8 months ago today my gizmo came to live inside of me. I couldn't have come this far without the help of my gizmo. What a great tool in my weight loss journey. I still have no regrets ~ I did this for me. There are things I miss eating and sometimes I miss being able to eat lots of something because it tastes so good but overall I have no regrets.

Has taking off 46 lbs since surgery made me a better person? Has it changed my outlook on life? Has it changed my relationships? Has it changed my goals in life? Has it changed how I feel about myself? I think not. I'm still me, I still joke about my fat butt, I am still a friend to many, I still cry, I still have feelings.... The weight loss hasn't uncovered anything, my inner person is still there ~ it's just exposed a little more and still just as vulnerable to life's hurts, life's excitements, life's joys... I think I might have gained some self confidence, I still see all my flaws, (what they didn't go away with the weight?!), I just don't really feel a big huge change ~ maybe later ~ maybe not @ all....


Today I weighed in @ 186.2
Recap:
Day 1 of liquids before surgery = 232.2 so minus 46 lbs since surgery. That's almost 6 lbs per month. About 1 and 1/2 lbs per week. That average is OK with me and I know it will kick up a notch when I get back on my REGULAR exercise routine!

Now the closet issue.....
Just when I feel like I have conquered closet eating (you know those "secret" things you eat when nobody is looking) I take a bite of something in public and the food police come out....and they ask questions and make remarks like:
"why are you eating that?"
"should you be eating that?"
"is that on your diet?"
"I was wondering if you were going to eat ALL of that."
"that's really chewey, make sure you chew that good."
"don't forget to chew chew chew."
"someone ate cornbread for breakfast."
"can you eat that with the band?"
"is such and such band friendly?"
You get the picture, this really ticks me off, I know I have not taken care of my body over the years and the food police questions/remarks haven't helped so far so why do you think they would help now?! ...just saying...


Onward and downward I go.......one meal @ a time, one day @ a time.....

Inspired!!

OK bloggers.....I saw my friend Kathy tonight (the one who secretly passed on the magic jeans to me) and WOW she looks awesome and so tiny!! She inspires me to keep on going ~ we've been doing this weight loss thing together since Dec 2005 ~ she talked me into joining WW with her and it's all been good!! ;-) Thanks Kathy!

Pretty Woman....

The hubby bought me the movie for Valentine's Day! Got the 15th anniversary special edition! Now I can watch that shopping scene anytime I want to!! ;-)

HaPpY VD!!

....That's right Happy VD!! Happy Valentine's Day!! My hubby, boys, family, friends and followers are the sweethearts of my life! Thanks for the love and support!! ;-) I heart ya'll...

The Magic Jeans!!

Those jeans from my previous post......they are magic I tell ya!! Just magic! Who would have thought and why didn't my friend Kathy tell me of these powers?! Why do I call them magic you ask?! Well, first let me back up to yesterday.. Yesterday, I sent Kathy an email explaining my excitement over these jeans and being able to fit into them! She explained those were her expensive, favorite jeans and that she was sad when she got too small for them (her loss ~ literally)! I told her that is why they feel so yummmy on! So anyways I wore them again today and I have decided they are just magic jeans! They remind to only eat when I'm hungry! Not because I am bored, happy, sad, lonely, etc! (did you notice I didn't list mad in that list ~ I do NOT eat when I am mad so go ahead and tick me off daily and I will be one Skinny B!@#$ ~ oh wait that's a book title). Anyhow, I'm enjoying these magic jeans today!! onward and downward ... ;-)

My All Time Low ~ Probable Since Birth! And A Jean Shot!

I did that 3 day liquid diet thing up until last night....I ate a real dinner last night and boy was my restriction back! I made a salad, then took half of it back out of the bowl ~ so glad I did cuz I couldn't have ate the whole thing. I had a couple of bites of chicken and a little gumbo about 2 hours later...

so my all time low is 185.6 this morning!! Now to hold onto it!!

Now for the jeans....I couldn't find my jeans again this morning, of course I searched the teens room for them since that's where they were hiding from my butt for a few days last time they came up missing. So anyways I tried on some of my other jeans ~ now I have no clue where these came from besides from my friend Kathy so I am not sure how the sizes run BUT....
this particular pair button up the front, have "Cruel Girl relaxed" stitched on the inside waistband and tag reads size 13 regular how cool is that?! I'm not hung up on a size # since every piece of clothing fits different in every size but geez a 13 sure beats the heck out of the size 24's I wore way back when!! I was about a size 20 right before my gizmo came to live in me. So here's a couple of shots:

Thursday Weigh In, Liquids, Boo Boo....

What a title?!

First things first...

weigh in:
189.6 (down .2 from last week) still striving to hit that 187.6 or below from 12/31/09!

Liquids:
my plan is to do 3 days of liquids (one down, two to go) and why?! Well because I want to get some self discipline back, get focused and of course, get that scale to move in the right direction!

Boo Boo:
(aka BM) well last night after the usual 3 days of nothing, it happened and oh la la Dr Oz would have been proud!! For the followers that do not have a gizmo....this is a problem area for bandsters and we talk about it often here in blog land. TMI maybe but the helpful hints peeps give to help with this problem are not TMI!

onward and downward........are ya with me?! ;-)

Fashion Fun For Me 101

First I must say it felt like the shopping scene from Pretty Woman but it came no where near the $$$ Richard Gear put out for Julia Robert's new wardrobe!! ;-)






an outfit to wear now ~ shirt, pants, shoes...all new!! (don't look @ my socks LOL)














The shirt can be worn now, not the pants too tight! I was fixing my hair (I straightened it today) when the hubster took the snapshot. I left the design part in ~ it's the reflection from the front door onto the wall.









shirt and pants both too tight now but by summer....(the hubster said I shouldn't put the stuff is too tight but the truth shall set me free!)











This is a for now outfit and those socks again! haha














a summer outfit, all too tight for now. I will be looking for some red, white and navy blue accessories for this outfit and the next one. Sorry I can't seem to line up the pictures in the blog....









and this last one is for summer too....all too tight!!

More Nose Bling Comments

Yes, more nose bling comments…..went something like this ~ I was on my way out of the cafeteria with my ice water that I had nicely squeezed a fresh lemon wedge into (yummy so much better than plain water) and a co worker says “good morning” and I turn and say good morning right back to him. He said “wait a minute” ~ “you’re a hippie now?” “you got your nose pierced” “mr so and so, she’s a hippie she got her nose pierced” and mr so and so says nothing, the first guy says “I like it” and yet another co worker nearby says “I bet that hurt” I said “not as bad as I expected it to” end of conversation. Take my bling and shove it! I have not had one negative comment but they are implied LOL! ;-)

"Official" Thursday Weigh In Results

189.8 up .2 from last Thursday according to my records. I've been weighing every morning again and it seems to get my mind set in the right direction for the day (regardless of what the scale yells @ me). In my journal every morning I've been writing my word "Believe" and my personal challege that I have going on right now...."eat only when hungry" I've had a few slip ups but overall I ask myself are you REALLY hungry before I eat ~ stop, ask, listen to your body ~ that's what I need to do!! onward and downward

60 60 60!! Not Pounds But Followers!! And More..

It's official I have 60 followers!! How exciting! Welcome ALL!! Love each one of you because you support me just by following me! And your comments are so encouraging so keep it up gang!! BTW is it my new nose bling that attracted you to my blog?! LOL ;-)

Yesterday my challenge was to only eat when hungry. I did. Until I got home that is. I didn’t go off the deep end but I did eat some things when I wasn’t hungry. I need more structure in my “@ home time”. (like exercise structure!)

My scale moved a wee bit this morning. (191 so down .2 from yesterday) I will try to keep it down today! The struggles of life...

Nose Bling Comments...

Now I know most of the comments are not to my face but remember my motto "if they are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone."?!

However, I did just have someone ask me "is that new" as he pointed @ his nose and I smiled and said "yes" and he said "I like it" and went on to explain his daughter talked to him when she was fresh out of college about getting it done and he explained about job interviews and such and that he didn't think it was a good idea right now....she came home with "nose bling" anyways! A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! ;-)

My Personal Challenge For Today...

“eat ONLY when hungry” so of course my stomach is growling and my brain has already told it that I’m starving to death. Go figure.

This morning has started out kinda comical ~ comical, well OK, I have to laugh so I won't be upset!!

Roads were snow covered the closer I got to work (this south paw does not like driving in these conditions), I get parked and zip up my coat HOWEVER the zipper gets stuck less than half way up! I try and try won't move up or down and I'm getting hot and frustrated sitting in my car. So fine! I pull up the hood and snap all the snaps I can and walk to the building. I have to pull the coat over my head to get it off. I take my coat to maintenance where they have many tools and ask for help. The nice volunteer puts a little bees wax on the material that is all cranked up in the zipper and slides the zipper over the material and wholla it's un zipped! They proceed to tell me that my DH needs to dress me in the morning and that I need to switch to velcro closures. Well OK....

Back in the office the email gives me fits, I reboot the system, still issues so I go to the weight watchers web site and it hangs up on me too and my long post goes off into cyberspace....now we'll see what happens in blog land.

In the meantime I'm starving to death because my personal challenge for today is to only eat when hungry.........

life is grand ~ onward and downward I go.....

Nose Bling Reward!

Yes, a gift to me as a reward for my weight loss ~ nose bling!! ;-)

Over The Scale Episode and I'm A Winner!!

So I weighed again this morning....why you ask? Well because my brain told me if I went back to weighing every morning it would be a self check first thing ~ kind of get my focus and my groove on for the day! Today it spoke 189.0 to me! Now you know I had to repeat that press the scale, clear it, wait for 0000.0 (well maybe not that many zeros), slowly step up, trying to place feet and toes in the exact same location THREE times ~ yes, 3 times is my thing and if I get the same reading twice I go with it! If not I repeat until I get the same reading twice! So I admit....I have issues, probable a lot more than I know about already!! Onward and downward...... ;-)

I'm a winner........remember that blog post from 12/5 and the scavenger hunt, candle light walk thing...well I forgot to mention it was not one big prize, it was lots of individual prizes and last week in the mail I got something from Augusta, MO and I said please let me be a winner but NOT the prize for 10 peeps to go to the winery for free wine tasting cuz I don't have 10 peeps to do it with!! Anyways the actual street address confirmed that was not it. So I opened it....and yes, we won a 20 gift certificate to a little cafe out there! How exciting. Now if I could only win the lottery........

Stupid Scale Stupid Me.....

weight up 1.4 pounds this week to 189.6

why am I so stupid?

I know WHAT to do, I know HOW to do it, I know WHEN...wait that reminds me of one of my favorite movies...Pretty Woman!

Anyways let me take it one meal @ a time this week and try to move the stupid scale in the right direction.

onward and downward.

7 Month Band-a-versary

And I forgot ~ guess things are moving so smoothly ~ LOL

Who Would Have Thought!!

that this could happen to me ~ it's a NSV that I discovered last night............I was waiting in my swimsuit on the hubster to go to the resort pool with me and I did a double leg lift with my ankles together and OMG OMG OMG there was space between my legs ~ now of course my thighs and knees still rub together but right there between the knees touching and thighs touching I could see the wall to the room through a space between my legs!! It's the little things in life that make me smile! ;-)

Right Direction, Feeling Good, Thursday Weigh In ~ Recaps!

today = 188.2
last Thursday = 190 (so minus 1.8 this week)
day 1 liquid diet = 232.2 (so minus 44 since 3 days before surgery)
lowest weight since banding was on 12/31/09 @ 187.6

Pushing towards that 7 month anniversary ~ it will come around on Monday the 18th!!

This week I have noticed a little more pain around the port area, not sure about all that, seems to come and go. Doctor explained as I take the weight off everything is pulling down (good old gravity?!) so I guess the extra skin is pulling the port site down and causing a little discomfort. Looking in the mirror I do believe I will have to have a tummy tuck @ some point in time unless I have a miracle happen and get some core strength and muscles to lift that skin back up to my chin. I don't see that happening......

Thanks for reading and following me onward and downward....(literally I guess!)

Dinnerland Come Back! Come Back! ;-)

Not sure exactly what happened BUT I know I loved your comments to me on my blog! You really got me thinking about some things! I loved reading your blog as well and now I can't. ;-(

Forgive Me......

Dr Minkin for I have sinned....I ate things I shouldn't have eaten, I did not exercise and I had too many big girl drinks during the holidays. He asked something about was I talking about alcohol? I hung my head in shame and covered my face and shook my head yes...guilty as charged. He was not harsh but did say something about just think you didn't exercise and you over indulged and you still lost 6.8 pounds ~ you could maybe have lost 10 pounds or more! OUCH and oh so true and that hurt worse then a few harsh words ~ I'm such a moron ~ I know what to do and how to do it but I decided to "cut up" during the holidays!! We discussed things and decided no fill for me. I feel really comfortable with what I have right now and I'm almost to my max so I'm with the doctor, why fix something that isn't broken? Leave a little room for tweaking down the road. I go back in 8 weeks.

Basically last visit I was 195 and today I was 188.2 minus 6.8 lbs since 11/16/09 total weight loss 38.6 according to the doctor's scale.

Of course we all know I go by my scale!! LOL ;-)

He didn't take my gizmo away.....onward and downward!

From "The Opus" Movie ~ Had To Share!!

At a certain point you have to awaken, you have to become conscious and you have to take
control. And you do that by having a vision. - Dr. Joe Vitale

***

Attitude can overcome every single obstacle that you ever had or that you ever will have.
- Frank Maguire

***

The secret word that every winner knows is called N-E-X-T, next. And every time somebody
rejects you, says something you don’t want, just say, “Next.” - Mark Victor Hansen

***

Everybody experiences failure. If you haven’t it’s because you haven’t done anything new.
- Douglas Vermeeren

***

As you go through challenges in your life, the secret to success is to realize that the
gift is in the setback, is in the challenge, is in the failure. Because it’s out of those failures
that we grow, that we learn and we discover things about ourselves that we didn’t know about beforehand. - Willie Jolley

I <3 Me Gizmo! (read in pirate voice)

You are my gizmo, my only gizmo, please don't take my gizmo away...........

So tomorrow I go see my lapband doctor, my weight is down about 5 lbs since last visit, not good, but better than gaining 20 lbs during the holidays like the pre gizmo days! We had sushi last night and will have it again tonight so that means weight gain from water retention due to salty contents of the soy sauce so by tomorrow afternoon who knows what the doctor's scale will read. After the weigh in and the results I'll be taken to that confessional room (the one Amy W. blogs about) where I will confess to eating and drinking for a whole 2 weeks whatever I wanted (in some moderation of course cuz my gizmo was with me) and NO EXERCISE to speak of!! Will he take my gizmo away for misuse?! Please tell me no!!

You are my gizmo, my only gizmo, please don't take my gizmo away.......

Blogger "Dinnerland" Brought Tears To My Eyes!

...on my last post...her comment about self esteem ~ what is that?! I guess I haven't had any in so long that it really caught me off guard to read a comment that might suggest I have self esteem! Beginning to wonder who is this person living in me now? Have I been taken over by someone who has self esteem? someone who can take a compliment? someone who actually believes she might be beautiful inside and out? I've always been told I am fun, likeable and a good friend....the Bible says HE looks @ the inside not just the outside appearance....hard to grasp peeps liking the outside appearance too. I've never liked the outside appearance from the face down so why should anyone else? That is probable why I have no full length mirrors in the house and hate dressing rooms!! I may need some psychological help before I reach goal to help my mind catch up with all these thoughts!













"if you ever get mauled by bears, I hope they stay away from your face because I think you're cute." (that's what it says if you can't read the fine print)

that about says it all...........LOL

Today's NSV....

I'm walking in the work place hallway and someone is coming towards me and I say "hey so and so" and they say "hey skinny" ~ wow someone called me skinny that wasn't a close friend or family member. It didn't make me feel uncomfortable and I didn't have a negative comeback like "oh I got a long ways to go" or "not yet but I'm working on it" ~ I didn't reply, just smiled and walked on by.....

maybe I can take a compliment now?! must ponder this..........

~*~ Believe ~*~

onward and downward.....

Thursday Weigh In Results...

190

slightly up from last week. Don't really like the scale fluctuating up and down like that but I can live with it! ;-)

Welcome SusieQ! ;-)

http://free2bme-susieq4givn.blogspot.com/ is # 51!!

Frogger Funny For You...Because Sometimes You Just Need To Laugh @ Yourself.

The man candy took this when I was having fun ~ minding my own business ~ haha. ;-)
Pre band and pre weight loss I probable couldn't jump let alone hop on one foot.
Almost as much exercise as the Wii fit?!

I Met My Goal!! 50 Yes 50 Followers!!

Welcome new followers! ;-) I got two today but I can only find one....why because I think I don't know what I'm doing haha!

So http://theformerlyafatgirlblog.blogspot.com thanks for following me and becoming #50 for sure!!

I enjoy following the blogs, the success, getting the encouragement from everyone! Some blogs I still can not comment on for whatever reason but I'll keep trying!

Biggest Loser is on!!

update: The Dash was absolutely correct in her comment my other new follower was sitting towards the end and so I clicked on the new name "Tatianna Dietz" and low and behold it showed this follower picked me up yesterday!! Welcome! ;-)

Oh No I Lost A Follower! ;-(

Back to 47..........was it something I wrote? Maybe the pole dancing blog ~ LOL. ;-)

Last Day Of Vacation.......

ugh! Tomorrow morning is going to come way too early and I need an attitude change before it gets here! haha. I believe I can do it!! I will gather my stuff today for work tomorrow, that includes my brain if I can find it, put it all by the door so I can grab and run in the morning. I plan to grab my gym clothes because the time has come to get back on track with exercise (OK so I admit it is PAST time)! I must move the flab! I will have my journal with me along with the "right foods" (high protein and healthy for me contents)! I have been far from perfect in my healthy life style the past 2 weeks ~ oops but it was fun! ;-)

New Follower And Love To All Followers!!

Welcome Cara from "The Dash"!! You ARE # 48! Thanks for picking me up to stalk and for your nice comments on my last post. I've been following you for awhile, your blogs are great and the "MOTH" always cracks me up! Happy New Year to you and ALL my followers ~ ya'll help keep me going.....onward and downward. I get so much info and encouragement from my fellow bloggers and seeing peeps following my blog motivates me!! ;-)

2010 ~ Believe ~ Goals ~ etc.

Believe ~ it's still my word, I'm gonna believe in HIM, in myself, in my husband, in my children, in this year being a year of new things for me.... I'm gonna write it often and speak it often ~ Believe!!!










Long term goals:
Move back south (be a Carolina Girl!)
42 pounds off (goal weight about 145 @ this time)
nice wardrobe (professional clothes, sexy clothes, exercise clothes, fun clothes)


Short term goals:
Sell stuff on Ebay and Craigs List (so we don't move it!)
journal daily (eat right and write it down... duh?!)
exercise 3-4 times per week (move it woman!)
save $$ monthly towards clothes shopping when I reach goal.

Of course this list is always subject to change and will be adjusted as needed....

Happy New Year!! Welcome to 2010!!

We went to a friends house tonight for a New Years Eve party........totally out of my comfort zone but I sure tried to fit in!! ;-) We normally stay in for NYEs and I knew nobody there but the host and hostess!!

First I was taught bachata dance? one, two, hip (hip on opposite side of the one two swing! fun!! Check out that you tube or whatever it is called to see what I'm talking about.

Then I find the hostess has a pole in her bedroom.............oh girls she is so wrong for holding out on me as I have been wanting one for months! I have heard it is great exercise! And oh so sexy!! So of course I had to try it out.........twice ~ of course no sexiness on my part but geez just after two swings, a dip and a head throwing back exercise (only in with the other girls in the room) I was exhausted haha! So fat doesn't move too well on a pole but I could take up pole dancing as my next exercise technique! LOL............ (in the privacy of my own home of course).

So Happy New Year and may 2010 be the best for you and yours!! Thanks for following me and my journey in weight loss with my gizmo. Tomorrow I will work on that long term goal and short terms goals to get there!!

Welcome TJ!!

Wow 47 followers now.........I thought my goal of 50 would be impossible and I just want to thank ALL OF YOU for following me and my journey with my gizmo!!

Welcome Laurel

46 followers and counting! ;-)

So Ends The Last Day of 2009....And More!

Today is Thursday....weigh in day. Post Op Day 196 according to my records. The weight this morning is 187.6 and I'm thrilled with that as I have NOT been a good bandster for the whole time I've been off work! Sad but true.

As 2009 comes to an end tonight @ midnight I have to reflect a little on the year. I have to look @ where I was in January and where I am now.

Health ~ I believe I am on the right track with the healthier me journey. The gizmo has definitely helped me out. Without my gizmo I know I would be struggling worse than I am right now. Old habits are hard to break....especially food and drink ones for me! Husband and I were really working it great with food, drink and exercise and along came the cold winter blahs. We need to get back on track!

Homefront ~ Youngest son graduated this year from high school. Oldest son has gone off to college. And my husband has totally finished his college journey. So that means I am adjusting to being an empty nester, a Mom no longer needed, a woman who now has to change her priorities in life from putting husband and kids first to putting husband and self first. I believe I can do it!!

Spiritually ~ I am NO where near where I use to be. I have been dry for over a year now. That needs to change. For me personally I need to pray daily, read HIS Word daily and grow in HIM or I don't feel right. I'm not feeling right....but I do believe in HIM!

2010 will be a year of change for us I believe...I plan to get a new to me job in SC, the husband plans to open his own practice there, that is our goal anyways.

As you may have picked up by now "my word" has been and continues to be "believe".

Thanks Dr Minkin and Mynewselfbariactrics.com you have helped bring me from "no hope" to "I believe"!!

Happy Anniversary To Us ~ 29 Years!! ;-)

That's a NSV for sure haha. He's still the one!

Merry CHRISTmas and it is white!!

Merry CHRISTmas blogger peeps!! ;-)

Thursday Weigh In Results...

190.4

slightly up a little more this week. need to get myself together cuz this scale is kicking my butt! ;-)

~*~ VaCaTiOn ~*~

loving it! productive day! and I spent it with my man candy running errands and such! And who would have thought the samples out @ Straub's and Whole Foods would fill me up for dinner?! love my gizmo! ;-)

6 Months Out Photo....

6 Months! Has It Been That Long?

seems like only yesterday my gizmo came to live in me! haha. It has survived it's first Thanksgiving and is now looking forward to Christmas holidays!

Weight this morning was 189.8 ~ BM check (finally after 4 days of no movement)! Female stuff started ~ scale moving down again!

Only change in measurements since last month was 1/4 inch in the waist taken off.

My exercise has really slacked off since the time and weather change ~ I really have no excuse so must set a goal to move it a minimum of 3 times per week. (that's a minimum!) I have plenty of tapes/DVDs to I could do and a great core exercise DVD so I just need to do it!

I have also not been good @ keeping my journal up to date with HONEST food consumption so that needs to be addressed and those vitamins?! UGH ~ I hate taking them for one thing and having to time them out and plan them with a meal...well I need to fix that too as I need the vitamins!!

Moving onward and downward.....

Lurkers to Followers?! ;-)

Two new followers! I know because my number changed from 40 to 42 ~ not sure how to figure out the newbies but welcome!! ;-)

BM BS, Weigh In, 6 Month Bandiversary, Etc...

BM BS: every 2 or 3 days and sometimes more in between ~ that just ain't right ~ nuff said...

Weigh In: 190.2 so yes up from last week. UURRRGGHHH (wanna hear my excuses?!)

6 Months Bandiversary: tomorrow! so I will take weight (again) in the AM, pictures and measurements and post tomorrow sometime.

Etc: 42 days since last female cycle? TMI I'm sure! "peri" menopause is NOT my friend.

Man Candy Brought Me A Cookie

too cute not to post a picture of it! ;-)

Only Ten Lurkers Away.....

from having 50 followers!! Welcome new followers! ;-)

Lack of Blogging

So I have been MIA ~ old laptop up and down, got a new one, waiting for it to be fixed up with programs so I can download pictures and such ~ after that I can blog away!! ;-)

Monthly Meeting....

I'll have to post my notes tomorrow as they are messy and I'm too tired to really deal with tonight! haha But wanted to blog that I met a "lurker" in person @ the meeting tonight! Nice to meet you Beth (and if that is not correct name please let me know because I forgot from the time I got home til bedtime ~ that's what happens if I don't write it down)! Also wanted to post an updated picture but laptop is in a sorry condition @ this time! ;-)

Thursday Weigh In ~ Post Op Day 175 and More!!

188 lbs

down 2.6 since last week.
down 44.2 since pre surgery liquid diet.
(44 lbs = an elephant's heart)

Restriction is fine as far as I am concerned. Remember after last fill it was pretty tight and I was thinking I may need some taken back out?! Well I'm feeling pretty good about it now. I do have to remember to chew chew and I get full fast but that's ok. I am able to go a long stretch of time between meals, especially depending on what I eat.

Greek yogurt is becoming one of my favorite breakfasts, sprinkled with a little granola!

I still am not perfect and I still mess up here and there on food choices but overall I'm doing well with the gizmo ~ it's my friend!

onward and downward........ ;-)

PS ~ wow I have new followers!! Welcome!! It's been about a week since I've checked (computer troubles).

*****additional blog post*****
First off I was feeling rather "skinny" today with that nice weight loss and my black jeans (always makes you look smaller) and new sweater....so wanted to post a picture but laptop still on the mend.

Second, I was outside my office this morning when along came a male co worker heading my way and he stopped and looked @ me in the eyes and asked "how are you doing?". Now this is the second time he has done this and the first time I knew what he meant and just said "fine" end of discussion. Today I said "I'm great! I feel really good." And he asked "no regrets?" ding ding ding I knew someone had told him about my surgery (good old grapevine) and I said "No regrets"!! His wife had this surgery 6 or 8 months ago and he didn't bring that up but I think he is happy for both of us and was really concerned and wondering if I had regrets.

No regrets, No regrets, No regrets!! ;-)





(I have a cow on my head! Better than being one I guess!!)

Variety in exercise is one key to success!

So last night the exercise was....candle light walk through Augusta, MO combined with a scavenger hunt and wine tasting! Did you know I have a competitive spirit? Hubby does now....what were his words.... something about rocking it? Hey, I wanted the answers to the questions and my scavenger "gifts"! The man candy did "text" a friend for some of the answers! Now my entry is in for the big prize that I would like to win!! ;-)

Well Hello Again!

I did say goodbye to 190's however they said hello again to me this morning.

190.6

I contribute this to my 4 day vacation from making good food choices, not journaling, lack of exercise, lack of scratching in the sandbox and um it being day 28 of the wonderful female cycle.

Is it bothering me? nah

Am I making excuses? nope, I messed up ~ I know it...

Am I gonna go onward and downward? (in my best Sarah Palin voice) you betcha!!

;-)

Now That Everyone Is Gone.....

Maybe a little off the weight loss subject but...

I made it through my first major food holiday with my gizmo. Nothing got stuck, I didn't overeat @ the meal, I did graze some over the entire 3 days and I did eat some foods that were not "diet foods" and I didn't keep my journal....tomorrow I will be back on routine! Overall I feel good about the whole experience.

This year was my first Thanksgiving without both my sons being home. It was hard emotionally. I do not feel needed anymore as they are both young men now. I'm OK with it and I didn't do any emotional eating! I will continue to fill my time with things for ME and work on ME cuz hey I need myself! haha (refer to previous post a long ways back...)

My cousin came and spent Thanksgiving with us and that helped with the emotional part of it ~ having a change of pace during such times is a good thing!

Back to work tomorrow....

It'sThursday and I am down! Hit the 40 lb mark!!

Official weigh in! 189.8 good bye 190's!! That's 2.6 pounds off this week! Total weight loss 42.4 lbs!!

The band still has a good amount of restriction in it, I am really learning to chew chew chew and eat very slowly but that 1/2 cup food serving is lasting hourSSSS...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! ;-)


onward and downward.........




This shot is of my cousin and I after Thanksgiving dinner. She had not seen me in a couple of years so my size was a bit of a shock to her. She said it felt funny for her to be able to put her arms around me ~ haha. The change has been gradual for me but peeps that haven't seen me in a long time are surprised. I still can not believe 190's are behind me!! ;-)

NSV ~ The Coat!

OK, so I took all my old winter coats to Goodwill a couple of months ago. They were too big, old and it was time for them to go! Well it started getting cold here in Mizery a few weeks ago and I found a coat on sale @ Kohl's and I had a coupon so I bought it in an XL because the Large was too small in the front. Friday we went to Kohl's and I tried on the coat in a Large again and guess what...it zips, it fits, it's just a little snug in the "bat wing" arm area. So Saturday I try the XL on again (haven't taken tags off it yet) and I can overlap it in the front now and the arms are just a little less snug then the Large so back to Kohl's I went and exchanged the XL for the L!! Onward and downward I go..... ;-)

Thursday weigh in, 5 month bandaversary, measurements, full day!

official weigh in this morning....... 192.4

was banded 5 months ago yesterday.

total weight loss since beginning 3 day liquid diet pre band ~ 39.8 (oh so close to 40 lbs!)

still feeling really "tight" after that fill on Monday ~ gotta even drink very slowly ~ seem to burp a lot, not anything coming out just burp after drinking something ~ gonna stick it out a couple more days and see how it goes before requesting a slight un fill. I have been on liquids and mushies since the fill so today is the first day of solids and if I can't eat ya know I will be calling for that slight un fill for sure!

measurements and photos to be added this evening?!

Not much change in measurements but here goes:

11/19/09 (difference since 10/17/09)
weight 192.4 (down 5.8 lbs)
waist = 37 1/4 (down 1 1/2")
hips = 45 (down 1/2")
chest = 44 1/2 (same)
wrist = 6 1/2 (same)
forearm = 10 3/4 (down 1/4")
thigh = 25 (down 1/2")
calf = 17 (same)
ankle = 8 1/2 (same)
upperarm = 14 1/4 (down 1/4")
neck = 15 (same)

So I'm 3 days late with a picture or two but here goes nothing....







Pants = hand me downs (thanks Kathy!) and sweater/scarf = went shopping @ Kohl's on Friday evening! ;-)

There's Restriction And Then There IS Restriction Baby!

So I survived my third fill but not without a hitch.

First the big weigh in ... 195 on doctor scale a loss of 8.8 lbs in 8 weeks.

Second...I asked about the port incision area, it's hardness and raised area. It was explained to me as scar tissue around the incision, the port and the tube to the port. Last visit I was told it may still go down so that's what I am hoping for even if that wasn't mentioned this visit!

Third....in goes 1.5 ccs and here comes the water drink test. One sip, no movement of the water, just kind of stuck there in the chest. Second sip, little air bubble, little movement but just sitting there. Doctor said too much restriction is not good and if I can't get water down then I won't be able to get solids down.

Fourth...here comes poke number two into the port site....out comes .5 cc's and the water test goes much better. So I am @ 9.5 cc's in a 10 cc band.

I broke a sweat and felt a little nauseated after this fill but all is well now.

Liquids today, mushies tomorrow and mushies the next day too if I'd like to do that it's OK with the doctor.....and he suggested it so maybe I will do just that, give the new restriction time to settle in and take hold.

Dr. Minkin was still very personable, you don't feel like just another fat arse on the latest diet hype or just a number. He seems to be concerned about your overall health and how you are working with the lap band. He wants you to succeed (I want to succeed). He asks you a lot of questions and remembers what you talked about during the last visit. Not saying he doesn't review your record beforehand but at least he takes the time to do so. (this is how I know my hubby will be in his practice ~ caring and concerned about each and every patient and he will ask questions to make sure you are following the doctors orders!) I try very hard to follow the doctors orders on this weight loss journey ~ yes I slip up ~ yes I stumble but I'm moving onward and downward.

Too Excited Not To Post....

So this afternoon I get to go see my lapband doctor right?! Well ya know I have to have a guideline to my weight because his scale is different than mine, I weigh there later in the day, and I have clothes on there (instead of the usual bra and panties). I know I know it's not Thursday but I have to post my un official weigh in this morning. After less than a week of really trying to focus, eat right and cut out big girl drinks....drum roll please....

scale reads: 195.2

Last Thursday it was 197.4 so I've lost 2.2 lbs in 4 days! Besides trying to keep the eating under control I have been trying to exercise in some way shape or form daily! I'm so excited to see the scale move!

I will post about my doctor visit later this evening. ;-)

*** Welcome new follower ~ Lap Band Gal!! ***

Sarah's Bandster Quiz and My Answers....

1. How long have you been banded? A few days short of 5 months.
2. What was your highest pre-band weight? / Current weight now? / Total lost to date?
257 lbs on 10/17/91 one day before giving birth to second son/197.4 lbs/about 35 lbs with the gizmo and 60 lbs overall.
3. What is your best "go-to" food to get in your protein?
Greek Yogurt or Cottage Cheese in a hurry but shrimp is my favorite!
4. What is your favorite protein brand/shake? Atkins mocha latte ice cold!
5. What food do you miss the most now being post-band? doughy gooey bread.
6. What is your favorite "mushy" food? grits
7. What was your worst PB experience? well if PB is same as sliming experience it would be that bite of fried fish that got me back in August and it just kept foaming up and out for about 20 or 30 mins.
8. What has been the hardest part of this journey so far for you? "getting it" in my head to only eat when hungry.
9. What is your best NSV to date? Cutting up that Lane Bryant credit card cuz I don't have to shop in plus size stores anymore!
10. What is your top non-weight goal for your band? (top NSV maybe?) Maybe to have confidence in my body and actually really think that I look good?!
11. What is your goal weight or size? @ this point I have 140 lbs stuck in my head and I don't know why ~ guess I'll decide when I get there?!
12. What band "rule" do you live by (i.e. don't cheat on)? No diet soda for me!
13. What band "rule" do you not follow as much or aren't so good at? Actually using the 3/4 C measuring cup because I usually eat off that small plate with the circle.
14. What is your goal "reward"? If need be, a neck and tummy plastic surgery procedure.
15. In the spirit of Thanksgiving being right around the corner (US), what are you most thankful for, post-band? Having the tool to get through the food holidays so I don't gain 20 lbs!

New Peeps To Follow Me!! ;-)

Welcome Shannon W and Bandita Senorita! Thanks for following my journey onward and downward! ;-)

Should I Be Worried About..

counting calories? For dinner I had 1/4 c of chicken leg w/o skin, 1/4 c deli coleslaw, 1/4 c field peas for my 3/4 C meal now do you think I can find the nutritional value info on these items? NO, because any 411 I do find is in oz, grams, and not cups! So I'm really trying not to get hung up on the calories @ this point and stay focused on 3/4 C serving and ONLY eating when hungry! So far it's been a great day eating wise and I got two 15 minute walks in along with a 56 minute hike that included 402 steps going down and 402 steps going up.

onward and downward and feeling good about my successful day....I better go to bed before I blow it!! lol ;-)

An Original Poem by me! ;-)

An Original Poem by me (written some time before 5/30/1988 ~ yeppers, it's an oldie!)

Dieting is something we hate.
But fighting the battle of the bulge is our fate.

Setting our goals is a must.
So we can have smaller hips and bust.

We have to switch from sugar to sweet and low.
To loose just a half a pound will make our faces glow.

No cakes, candies, or ice cream.
A slimmer body is our dream.

Just apples, salads, and green beans.
That’s what it takes to wear smaller jeans.

Lots of exercise like swimming and walking.
Using our mouths for only talking.

Lots of willpower we will need.
So we can limit our daily feed.

We’ll need our friends backing.
When our willpower is lacking.

Don’t give up loosing fat.
Because that is totally unsat.

So hang in there my dear friend.
I’ll be behind you to the end!

Funny For Ya...

bluejeans hanging over the line in the basement drying ~ I take them down to fold them and put them in the teens pile of clothes and I realize they are MINE! They looked too small to be MINE! ;-)

Meeting 411 ~ "Healthy Holiday Eating"

Some 411 notes from the meeting I attended last night:

First off we need to be realistic for the holidays....maybe not so much focused on losing weight but on maintaining our weight? Back in the day I could gain 20 lbs no problem during the holiday season and that is exactly why I joined WW back in Dec of 2005 and it has totally helped me not to put on a butt load of excess weight during the season ~ we shall see how the gizmo helps me out in this area this year! My first holiday season with my gizmo ~ how exciting!! ;-)

No beer, champagne, or sparkling wines..... I have done great w/o diet soda ~ not one sip since surgery! Champagne and sparkling wines ~ no problem but duh I've had a couple of beers ~ never thought of them being carbonated ~ hey they are just foamy! Oops...and reminder to self "no alcohol for 6 months after surgery"! Empty high liquid calories and it stimulates appetite.

Be prepared before going to a holiday get together. Think about what you are going to eat and plan to eat the foods you really like. Avoid the snack bowls. Bring a healthy dish if you are bringing something.

* Depriving yourself of special holiday foods, or feeling guilty when enjoying them, is not a healthful eating strategy.

* Deprivation and guilt certainly are not part of the holiday spirit.

On another note it was mentioned a "full feeling" for up to 4 hours after a 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup meal....hhhhmmm I must be missing something or I'm just doing a lot of grazing. I will focus on that today ~ listening to my body, eating when hungry and trying to put my stomach off 4 hours between meals!

P.S. Sorry I missed meeting my fellow bander last night in person! Maybe next meeting?! ;-)

Week In Review And A Little Recap Of Things..

197.4

Official weigh in this morning! Down 1.4 pounds from last week.

That's minus 34.8 pounds since day 1 of liquid Pre Op diet.

Surgery date was 6/18/09 so I am Post Op 147 days. It will be 5 months next week? So rounding off that makes it about 7 pounds per month. I should be doing better than that I think. I am sure when I go see Dr Minkin on Monday if my weight loss is not up to par he will let me know. :-(

Week of food in review:
The WW point system didn't work so well for me this week ~ why?! Because I keep going "over" daily! Calorie counting hasn't worked either ~ why?! Because I go over 1,200 daily. And let me just say my "journal" is not up to par. I seem to focus more on the amount of food @ any given meal rather than the calorie content. Am I doing this wrong? I think I will attend the "Weigh2Success" class tonight @ the My New Self Bariactrics place. The classes are open to weight loss surgery patients who are 3 months post-op or beyond. The classes focus on long term nutrition lifestyle management. Yeppers, I need to know how to manage this gizmo! On a good note ~ no big girl drinks since Sunday night!

Week of exercise in review: 5 days out of 7 isn't bad!
Fri = hike @ Castlewood (steps x2)
Sun = weighted ball workout DVD (squats/lunges are not my friend)
Mon = 2 mile walk in the neighborhood (hurry up before it gets dark!)
Tues = weighted ball workout DVD (squats/lunges are still not my friend)
Wed = hike @ Castlewood (Riverview trail ~ steps only once and then it was downward!)

If I make it to the class tonight I'll post any good 411 I obtain from it!!

Onward and downward I go.......... ;-)

My Inspiration For The Day....

In the words of a fellow blogger (www.sallyslapbandjourney.blogspot.com) because she so inspired me this morning! Go check out the rest of her blog ~ she has great tips!

"On the 20 hour drive back I pondered these questions:

Have the physical and emotional changes over the past 15 months been worth it? Abso-damn-lutely yes! I would do this all over again. I can't remember when I've felt this good.

What has been the most surprising part of this journey? The increase in my self-confidence. I received a promotion about a month ago - I attribute that promotion directly to my increase in self-confidence.

What has been the most disappointing part of this journey? The fact that I waited several years before looking in to weight loss surgery. I was ashamed that I couldn't seem to control my weight on my own. How silly that seems now.

What has been the most enjoyable part of the journey? Over the past few months, through the blog and through word-of-mouth contact, I've met so many new people that are experiencing the same things I've experienced. I love to talk with them about the journey, what I've discovered, hear about their successes, and hopefully help them through tough times.

This journey will continue for the rest of my life - but every day gets a little easier. I now have to focus on maintaining my weight and being the healthiest I can be - after all, wasn't that the whole point to weight loss surgery?

I can't wait to continue blogging about this journey."

comments comments comments

Ya know this whole comment thing gives me troubles every now and then...so this morning I was trying to comment on a blog and troubles x3 so I went to tools, options, and checked to accept third party cookies and whalla it worked!

followers....I know I have more but they don't show up for some reason...maybe I can play around with that next!

On a good note after my Thursday morning weigh in I got myself together a little and had a couple of pretty good days with a hike in yesterday (stairs x2) so things are feeling and looking better in my corner of the world.

Official Weigh In....Not So Much Good News...

198.8

so that is slightly up. Why? Well let's look @ my food journal ~ oh wait I see it's only about half way filled out each day ~ hhhhhmmm. OK, well then let's review that exercise log ~ one mall slow walk, one hike, other than that just cleaning, painting, etc ~ hhhhhhmmmmm.

Bottom line: I know WHAT to do, I know HOW to do it, I have all the TOOLS I need, so what exactly is my problem?!

Done beating myself up this morning ~ hope to have a much better week this coming week and a better weigh in next Thursday morning!

Thanks for sticking with me as I move onward and downward..... ;-)

Horrible Surprise or Sweet Surprise?!

Is it Thursday yet?! I have not been on the scale. Either it is gonna be a horrible "weigh in" or a wonderful surprise "weigh in"! Sure seems strange not weighing every morning.

Exercise hasn't been much with all the rain we've had but we did get a hike in yesterday and it was beautiful outside!

Fellow bloggers ~ I am having a hard time commenting on your blogs ~ not sure what the deal is. I'll keep trying!! And you keep up the great work!!